I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life
by BadWolfKaily
Summary: A quote prompt from an anon on tumblr. RootxShaw quote prompt thing: "I've seen bad turn to good plenty of times. You just can't lose faith.". -quote from NCIS


As soon as Shaw and Root were reunited it was as if Root had been given back her soul. And with her soul came the crushing reality of every single death that came from her hands. Since when had she cared about killing to bring back someone she loved? Her bloody hands, stained with the blood of the innocent and the guilty. Shaw found her cowering in the corner of Root's new apartment bathroom. Her hands were raw with having tried to scrub blood that didn't seem to ever disappear.

"Root, what happened? We haven't seen you in a few days."

Shaw was slightly startled at the condition she found Root in, using her catlike caution to slowly inch her way towards the crying hacker. She knelt down and gently took Root's hands in her own.

"Root?"

"Am I evil, Sameen?"

"What? No, maybe a screw loose but you're not evil, Root."

"But all the lives I took, everything I did to find you. Wasn't it bad? It's like I can't get their blood off my hands. I can't make this guilt go away. I shouldn't care about those lives. They took you away from me, Sameen. I couldn't get you back without lives being lost. So why, why do I feel this way?"

Noticing scratch marks peering out from Root's shirt Shaw reached a hand out to pull it down revealing red marks, scratches right above her heart.

"Root, what did you do?"

"It hurts, Sameen, my heart hurts."

Cradling Root's tender hands in her own Shaw just stared at them, "I've seen bad turn to good plenty of times. You just can't lose faith."

Root scoffed at hearing something like that come out of Shaw's mouth, "Easy for you to say, as if you could feel what I'm feeling!"

Grabbing Root by the shoulders Shaw growled, "I know exactly what you're feeling, I have lived with the death of every person I have ever killed, whether it was by my hand or a death I could've prevented. You just learn to filter it. I may not be good at showing my feelings but…" Shaw's expression softened as she gently took Root's face in her hands, "I know what you did for me, I didn't think there was anyone left in the the world who would go to such lengths for me. Thank you, Root. Thanks for never giving up on me. You brought me home."

Choking back a sob Root threw her arms around Shaw's neck causing a smile to light up the Persian's face. Wrapping her arms around the crying hacker Shaw hadn't felt so free of the world like she did in that moment, being honest with herself, feeling feelings.

"I haven't had a home till you, Sameen. Home is wherever you are."

Biting back the smile lacing her lips Shaw grunted, "Okay, get off me now you're just getting too mushy. I'm not at that stage in my life where I can accept mushy."

Holding on tighter Root just laughed until they crumpled to the floor, "You're stuck with me, Sameen."

"Well, can I be stuck with you somewhere else besides your bathroom floor? Cuz if I'm not drunk there's no need for me to be plastered to a bathroom floor."

Root grumbled into Shaw's shoulder, "Even with me?"

"Especially with you. Now get off me or else I'll rethink trying this out in your bed."

Root shot straight up and grabbed Shaw's hand, "Well, why didn't you say so sooner?"

Shaw rolled her eyes and shook her head as she was lead to Root's bedroom, taking a minute to toss her shoes to the floor as Root pulled the covers down. Root just stood there, a smile plastered to her face, as if she wasn't just losing her shit in the bathroom earlier. Shaw found herself relaxing into the mattress a lot easier than she thought it'd be, Root's gaze never leaving her as she just stood next to the bed.

"Well, come on," Shaw motioned for Root to get in the bed next to her.

Turning the light off and scooting in next to the compact Persian, Root meant to keep her distance but was hauled up against Shaw's side by the other woman's unexpected grasp. Resting her head on Shaw's chest, an arm wrapped around her waist, Shaw's fingers threading through her hair.

"I'm happy you're home, Sameen."

"Home, yeah, me too Root."

The even breathing of the woman plastered to her chest gave Shaw the courage to place a kiss to her head, smiling as she too drifted off to sleep.

 _You're my home too, Root._


End file.
